Does Absence really make the Heart Grow Fonder?

There is a Spanish saying::

"Amor de lejos es amor de tontos"...Long distance love is a FOOLS love.

ღ ღ ღ Being an adult requires making mature, often difficult decisions...If anyone would have told me this a few years ago, I would have laughed it off as envy of my "perfect LOVE". I mean what other couple traveled the world together for 2 weeks. We were never bored because we were in a different city every time we met. We didn't have to deal with everyday "emotions" or the responsibility of paying bills, plus there was plenty of space & distance between us! An ocean in fact. We felt FREE!!

By all accounts our relationship was a fairy tale or a fantasy depending on your view of reality. I saw my married friends struggling & felt, what? Me, Settle down... Live a typical life of matrimonial monotony? No thank you!

The first two years were filled with bliss & endless adventures. We were in New orleans, Miami, London, not to mention room service everywhere we went. Then reality slowly set in in. Our LDR, long distance relationship was costing us thousands of dollars a year just to meet up 10 times.  Then after a week or two of being together every waking moment we would be apart for many weeks. It was torture being apart!!

Relocation? That was possible yet not likely because he had signed a 7 year Royal navy Contract before we met. He was making a serious salary that funded most of our traveling. Quitting was out of the question. I was not about to uproot my entire life to another country. Not even for love. Logic ultimately  conquered the romantic within my spirit.

Suddenly, I felt less like a jet setting princess and more prince-less as the tension mounted. Our once passionate connection was coming to an end.

The last time I was in England was Christmas 2008. Shortly after I returned home in 2009 we officially broke up. So much happened leading up to that, however details do not matter now. The 3500 miles between us certainly didn't soften the blow. We definitely had a deeply emotional bond. Even after I had a child & he married someone else we stayed in touch. He still wanted to skype but I refused. I knew it was time to move on because we both deserved more. And now we do have someone who we do not have to miss or take a plane just for a simple kiss.

Well, I am not totally against long distance love. Just remember that it is easier to "like" someone from a distance. Rather than dealing with their daily drama. Distance can feel SAFE depending how you handle emotional proximity... Commitment requires much more than FUN... I had to journey many miles to discover this. Relationships are EMOTIONAL investments. Of course nothing in life is guarenteed. Perhaps I can save smeone some heartache because time is one thing we cannot buy back once it is lost.

♪♫♬♫ No, you can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
You can't always get what you want
And if you try sometime you find
You get what you need....The Rolling Stones ♪❥♪

 Crystal Hayward © 2014.

MY GUY.

My man is domesticated with a wild side. DEEP but I don't drown**STABLE:: he is able to keep BOTH of his feet on the ground ~ I admire his OPTIMISM in the face of adversity ~ his eyes disguise the strength nobody else but me can see.

A sharp fashion sense, and business savvy served with a side of sensuality & spirituality - coupled with a dry WIT & INTELLECT - the kind of HUMOR that makes a girl MELT. Especially when I turn to ICE -  what's TWICE as nice is HIS gorgeous smile & WARM, honest heart... we can FEEL each other even when we are MILES apart <3. His scent makes me feel sexy & secure. At night I can REST my head on his chest. We have been put to the TEST, that is for sure!! Partners for LIFE. I know someday this man will make me his WIFE... WE are NOT a novelty. This is my REALITY:)

#MyGuy #RealTalk101

http://youtu.be/slr2lGtb2eI

EGO will ruin your Relationships - so let it GO!!

EGO = Edging.God.Out.

Whenever you point the finger at someone -there are always 3 pointing BACK at you...

In God, I mean the highest vibrational energy: neither male or female. God is infinite & omnipresent in nature.

Blaming others is pointless. We must "OWN" our own feelings & reactions otherwise we give others the RIGHT to control our lives...

The TRUTH of the matter is: Men & Women need each other. Let's face it - we would not be here if it wasn't the LOVE of our parents...so, WHY are relationships failing? The answer lies in 3 little letters: E-G-O.

The late psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud attempted to define our ego - as subconscious, man-made, etc...

Men COMMIT to women because of their caring CHARACTER not beause of her big bank acount or a hot body - of course physical attractiveness works BOTH ways - Men can be BIG babies. It helps if you remind them of their moms. In the way you can NURTURE their needs.

If you are a dominating woman - you will attract a submissive man & vice versa. Its not that POWERFUL men prefer weak women - they prefer FEMININE females who make them FEEL in control, believe me, behind closed doors a real man lets the woman call the shots but she is WISE enough to keep her Feminine MYSTIQUE only for him BEHIND the scenes.

Women who complain that men only want   have not caught onto their INFINTELY intriguing feminine ENERGY that not only ATTRACTS the right man but KEEPS him around...sure you can be a MEGA BITCH showing HIM who is BOSS... But there are serious consequences to this. Such as - losing a GOOD man FOREVER!! So think twice before asserting yourself to the point that he gets Turned OFF to the point of NO return. It could be the BIGGEST regret of your life. And I have SEEN it happen.

Ultimately, due to thousands of years of "evolution" -men INSTINCTUALLY want to take care of a woman. It is emgrained in his DNA (just as women subconsciously seek comfort & security).

LADIES--> if you start to walk, talk, & ACT masculine - you are actually emasulating him. YES, he might want to take you to bed (again this is natural, especially if he finds you physically attractive). There are ALWAYS exceptions - of course, you are fighting against MILLENIUMS of human biology.

Women are highly intuitive (emotional) but men are also VISONARY when it comes to the kind of woman he want to put ROOTS down with....To put it bluntly - there is a major difference between being his FUTURE family or his future f*ck. In my experience a man KNOWS right away even before the woman if there is potential more than physical intimacy.

I truly BELIVE in my heart that there is someone for everybody. Keept the FAITH & stay POSITIVE:)

When all else fails~ PRAY!! XOXO

#RealRelationshipTalk.